My Father's Day Journey

Earlier this week, it was announced that Holy Family Church would be closing after the 5 pm service on Sunday, June 16th (Father’s Day). The closing of Holy Family on Father’s Day weekend got me reminiscing about Auburn, growing up and all the people and places (like Holy Family Church) that have impacted me. While our time together was brief, Dad (and Mom) taught me about the importance of love, loyalty, hard work, family and faith. He still whispers in my ear, teaching me and encouraging me. This grounds me and makes me smile

So I decided to spend part of Father’s Day 2024 visiting places in and around Auburn that will always remind me of Dad and to reflect on the lessons I learned from him. Doing this helped to remind me just how wonderful my life has been and the role Dad has played in making it that way. I hope you enjoy the journey.

Stop #1 North Street/Holy Family Church (Faith)

Throughout my life, when learning that I am “Red & Joanie’s son”, people have told me that one of the things they loved about Dad was the way he interacted with them - “He talked to me like I was the only person on earth.” “He had a way of making every interaction special.” Hearing Dad described this way always filled me with great joy & pride. It also reminds me that Dad really lived his faith…do unto others. He cared for others. He loved and was loyal. He was good. All lessons I continue to strive for each day.

My favorite Dad/Holy Family memory comes from my 1st Penance. At the conclusion of the service, Mike Hogan and I met up with our families outside the front of church. Mr. Hogan gave me a big hug to congratulate me. He also slid a $5 bill into my sport coat pocket. I thanked him and he gave me a wink. Dad did the same for Mike. I’ll bet they planned it together while they were waiting for us - making every interaction special…

Stop #2 Wright Avenue/Red Star (Loyalty & Hard Work)

Like Holy Family Church, Red Star Express Lines was, to me, part of the family growing up. “Red Star puts food on this table.” I recall hearing this statement or others like it from Dad and/or Mom pretty regularly growing up. Dad’s loyalty to Red Star was obvious. On several occasions, I recall being in the car with Dad as we passed Mr. Bisgrove’s house on Genesee Street (the big white house across from Hogan’s). Mr. Bisgrove was outside. Dad pulled over and we all got out of the car to say hello to his “boss.” Even though I was very young, it was clear to me that Dad respected Mr. Bisgrove and was grateful to be a part of the team at Red Star. It’s no wonder that Dad worked as hard as he did. Part of that was Dad’s approach to life. The other part of that speaks to the leadership of Mr. Bisgrove. As I reflected on those encounters, I was grateful to have seen Dad in a different light - Dad has a boss?? In a small way, it prepared me for my future. Like Dad, I never worked a day in my life because I loved my job(s).

Stop #3 Steel Street/Swift Street (Family)

I turned left onto Steel Street and pulled my Jeep into a parking space by the Y-Field. I walked down Steel Street to visit the old house - my first home in Auburn. I wasn’t there very long. I guess there just wasn’t room for 10! As I was walking back toward Swift Street to take a peak at Bernie & Leo’s house, I was reminded just how important family was to Dad. With the exception of college, he did not stray very far from “home.” He stayed close to his parents and his relatives (as did Mom). He stayed close to his friends and his church. He stayed close to the people and places that shaped him. As I resumed my journey, I realized that Dad was determined to provide his children with the same foundation that Bernie & Leo provided to him. I smiled and am grateful that he did.

Stop #4 Owasco Street (Family)

” You live in the big red house on Owasco Street?” / ”Yes I do.” / ”That house is so cool, it’s a mansion.” / ”How many people live in your house?” / ”12, 13 including me.” / ”NO WAY!” / ”Way”

As previously mentioned, the house on Steel Street just wasn’t big enough for a growing family. The house on Owasco Street sure was, and then some. Plenty of space for side yard baseball, football and carnivals. A back yard perfect for Senior Prom parties. Rose bushes, a peach tree, a plum tree and a crab apple tree. A front porch with a swing. Tall bushes that were perfect places to hide behind after hitting a passing car with a snowball. A garage with an attached basketball hoop and an upstairs that was perfect for a Haunted House. Eventually, a paved driveway made for an excellent basketball court. Before Bernie came to live with us, there was a “play room” with a separate bathroom and a door that led out to or in from the back yard. The living room was where Mom & Dad would entertain guests before going out for the evening. It was also where you (I) ended up if you had to talk with Dad because you (I) were in trouble. The den was big enough for evening television watching. Filled bookshelves, a fire place and plenty of room for all the trophies. Enough room to kneel by Mom’s chair in order to say prayers (Good night sweet Jesus my savior. Good night sweet Mary my mother. I give you my heart, my soul and my life to keep me from sin this day and forever, amen.) Line up to get your dinner in the kitchen before going to your assigned seat at the table. The milk machine. Leaving wet snow boots by the furnace in the basement. Pool and ping-pong in the back room. It had an attic that was big enough for the M & T Gym and my own indoor golf practice facility. It was a mansion and I loved it. To me, the house was bigger than life…just like Dad.

Step #5 Hoopes Park/Roses (Love & Hard Work)

As I pulled into a parking space near the entrance to Hoopes Park, it occurred to me that the big strong Marine loved his roses. Of course he did. The question is why did the 3 sport BMOC loved roses. While I’m not much of a gardener, I know that roses take work. It’s not enough to buy a rose bush, dig a hole, water and walk away. Remember the smell of the spray he used to protect his rose bushes - yikes! Of course Dad was drawn to roses. Roses are beautiful and represent love - I suspect he saw Mom in his roses. Roses require constant care and are worth the time and effort - I suspect Dad saw his family & friends in his roses. Back in the car - right turn onto Genesee Street.

Step #6 Genesee Street/Auburn sign (Love & Loyalty)

As I continued my journey, one theme kept returning - a man’s love/pride. Dad loved his family and his friends. He loved his job and his co-workers. He loved his big red house filled with his children’s trophies, his paintings and Patty’s art. He loved to play and compete. He loved Mom. He loved his roots - he loved Auburn. Across Genesee Street to the left of this sign is Mr. Bisgrove’s house. Across Genesee Street to the right of this sign is Hogan’s house. Fitting…

Stop #7 Franklin Street/East High School (Loyalty & Hard Work)

”Dad?” / ”Yes, kiddo.” / ”Whose trophies are the ones on top of East High? / ”Those are mine.” / ”NO WAY!” / ”Way.”

As I pulled into the parking lot at East High School (Auburn Middle School) I was reminded of something that has baffled me for a long time - where did everyone go? Before Auburn High School, there were East, West and Central High Schools along with Mount Carmel. In addition, most of the parishes in Auburn had their own schools. All of that is gone - 1 public high school, 1 public middle school, a handful of public elementary schools, Tyburn Academy is open but Blessed Trinity (St. Joseph’s School) is closed. Where did everyone go? I’ll bet East High School was a pretty exciting place back in the day. I have memories of Dad sharing stories about his high school days. Even as a boy, it was clear to me that Dad was true to his school and appreciated all the lessons he learned there. He always described his teachers and his coaches in the most respectful way. I’m confident that he would agree completely with the inscription on Coach Dean’s plaque - “He taught us the game of football and he prepared us for the game of life.” Dad was the same way. Always be prepared. Always give it your best. Never let your teammates down. Treat others with dignity and respect. Great lessons from another great coach. Thanks Dad.

Before continuing my journey, I wanted to stop in to see Paul Jr. I think he is responsible for Dad’s tree & plaque at East H.S. It was Jack that coined the inscription, - Husband, Father, Friend, Letterman - perfect!

Stop #8 Lake Avenue/St. Joseph’s Cemetery (Love)

Paul wasn’t home. The journey continued VERY SLOWLY! It took me the better part of an hour to get from Paul’s house to Green Shutters - Auto Show at the foot of the lake - ugh!

After graduation and before starting my career as a teacher, there was the summer job at St. Joseph’s Cemetery - weed eater. I liked my boss (Mr. Gerhin), and my co-workers but I did not enjoy this job. Start at one end, weed eat around all of the headstones/graves. When you finish, start again. Ugh. However, what I did enjoy about that job was eating lunch with Dad everyday. We talked about everything and he gave me loads of advice. “I know this job is not enjoyable, David. I want you to do your best because someday you’ll look back and realize that this job made all the other jobs you will have that much better.” Thank you Dad. Of course you were right.

Also, great job cleaning the headstone Tom & Paul. It looks beautiful.

Stop #9 West Lake Street/Skaneateles Country Club (Loyalty & Hard Work)

Back in the car. Time to leave Cayuga County and head toward home. No, I did not return to Owasco Road. Lake Avenue to Francis Street. Left onto Seward Avenue. Right onto Genesee Street. 7 miles to Skaneateles. My Father’s Day Journey would not be complete without a visit to Skaneateles Country Club. He loved the course, his golf partners, the lake, Al Colella, Mr. Bartosek, Benny DiNardo. He loved the challenge of golf and competition (once an athlete, always an athlete). Many children see their parents (fathers especially) as “superheroes”. I know I did. There were times when I was playing catch with Paul in the side yard when Dad got home from work. He’d put down his briefcase and join in. Wow! Dad could bring it AND throw a curveball ball. Awesome! One of my favorite “caddying for Dad at Skaneateles” memories took place on the old 16th hole. Dad hit his second shot underneath the pine trees that used to be to the front left of the green. I asked him what club he needed. I’m not sure what I expected to hear. I KNOW I did not anticipate the answer being putter. I must have looked at him funny so he repeated his answer - “I need the putter David.” Up & down…of course because Dad was a superhero! Years later, after Dad’s death, I had a chance to play in a Pro-Am tournament with Mr. Bartosek at Auburn Country Club. We started on the 8th hole and I was very excited for the event. I don’t think Mr. Bartosek shared my excitement. “Davey (I hated that!), I’d rather be having a picnic today.” Talk about being deflated. We hit our drives and headed down the fairway. Mr. Bartosek drove the cart in my direction - “Nice drive Davey. Your Dad would have liked that one.” At the end of the round, we shook hands and thanked one another. Mr. Bartosek patted me on the shoulder and said, “I really loved your Dad.” Dad loved Skaneateles Country Club and Skaneateles Country Club loved him.

Stop #10 Rockwood Place (Love, Loyalty & Family)
Back in the Jeep. Heading home which is appropriate because that is what was most important to Dad - Home.

I remember many instances as a boy watching a sporting event with Dad and if the Star Spangled Banner was televised, he’d stand and expect us to do the same. When he’d see a service man or woman in uniform he’d square his shoulders and stand straight. He served his country, was proud of his country and loved his country. His love for country was genuine just like his love for his family, friends, city, job and community.

I asked Mom shortly after Dad died why he’d been taken from us. A completely unfair question, I know but I was sad and confused and I needed her to help me understand. Without missing a beat, Mom explained that we are all sent by God to serve and that Dad simply completed his service quicker than anyone expected. As she always did, Mom eased my mind and helped me understand. Quite a team, Red & Joanie.

I know he is watching from heaven and I know Mom has filled him in but it sure would have been nice to introduce Mary to Dad and to see John, Will and Emma with their Grampa Red. It’s on me to make sure they know all about him.

Happy Father’s Day!

David - June 2023