Ringwoods Show Up
As a child, the concept of “showing up” was not a part of my psyche. The fact was, Ringwoods were everywhere. Siblings shared bedrooms. There was a seating order at the dining room table. And, if you were lucky, a brother or sister just might “save your seat” when you needed to briefly depart the TV room, in our house known as the den. I was rarely alone, at home, in the yard, in the car, at school - through Spring, Summer, Fall and Winter, Ringwoods wrapped around me in a way that gave me comfort and strength and ultimately formed me to become an independent woman.
So, when did this concept of “showing up” begin? I suspect each of my siblings have a unique perspective with different stories (which I do hope that they will share.) One incident clearly stands out in my memory. Walking home from Holy Family School, a significant walk by today’s standards, was often a shared experience with both family and friends. Spontaneous adventures occurred - a candy stop at Fay’s Drug Store or East Hill News, purging salvageable flowers (a gift for Mom) from the McEvoy Florist throwaways, and of course the chestnut trees on Owasco Street were pieces to this wonderful journey which we called “walking home.” I recall a Spring afternoon and for some reason I was by myself for the final stretch. Located on the block just after the Grand Union parking lot, I was confronted by three older girls. They were taller and unfamiliar, they scared me - and, I was all alone! They circled me and together taunted and teased, but I don’t recall them touching me at all. Minutes, this scene only lasted minutes, but the experience scared me so much that I ran home in tears. Ultimately it was a topic of conversation at the dinner table. I recounted my story, oddly proud of being the center of attention, as I shared (and perhaps embellished) what happened that afternoon. What followed was both a lesson of empowerment and strength in numbers. My father, with just the perfect tone of emotion, looked at me with his blue eyes and all of his attention and told me that if this were ever to happen again, I was to tell these girls to leave me alone or I would “clean their clocks.” Yes, “clean their clocks” … I actually practiced memorizing this statement because I felt it was like it was code for power. He gave me a tool and permission to stand up for myself! But it did not end there, he looked at my brothers and reminded us that we had to look out for each other. This was not a conversation filled with emotion or tainted with judgment. He listened and gave his young children the lesson of not only learning how to stand on our own two feet but to also be on the lookout for others. It has never been any other way since!
My entire life - Ringwoods have shown up. This Ringwood thread is now reinforced with: Thomas, McBride, Venditti, Sheridan, Hoercher, Hitchcock, and Doss stories. We gather online through text and email; Facebook and Instagram chronicle events using wonderful real-time images. The annual Ringwood July 4th and Christmas celebrations are a cacophony of joyful noise as siblings, children, spouses, grandchildren and loved ones navigate the sea of family. COUSINS, these Ringwood sibling babies grew up not just relatives - but as friends. They had sleepovers, camping trips, vacations, sports, jobs, high school and college experiences that tied them together. They join each other celebrating weddings and babies. Some are in their 40’s and others are just tweens but they share that Ringwood gene and unbreakable bond of love. (I wonder which of the cousins with be the future Ringwood story collector?)
Right now our hearts ache, words seem shallow, it is so hard to know what to say or think or do in this time of Ringwood sadness, loss and grief. The world will never, never be the same. And yet, despite the tears and sorrow, I witnessed (along with all of my siblings) that COUSINS SHOW UP too. Nieces and nephews, we love you, we are proud of you and never forget the power of standing on your own two feet along with the strength of Ringwood love that forever surrounds all of you
What does it mean to be Ringwood - You Show Up!
March 3, 2018
Teresa