David

REFLECTIONS FROM #8: DAVID

To Michael...our brother, friend, sounding board, confidant, "father"by default. Thank you for keeping this project alive. Thank you for being everything to all of us at any time. This is to remind you, in case you think otherwise, that you have made a difference in the lives of more people that you can possibly imagine.

Want to stop a conversation dead in its tracks? Try telling someone that you have 9 brothers and sisters. Tell them that all IO attended college, all 10 are married, and that the 10 have produced 28 grandchildren and 1 great grandchild. Tell them that all 10 lived in the same house with the same parents, a dog, and their grandmother. People on the receiving end of this tend to be astounded. Typically they have a "I can't begin to imagine that!" look on their face. I must admit, the only thing I enjoy more than my family is sharing my family with others. When people learn that I grew up in a large family they want to know what it was like. Believe it or not, that is a difficult question to answer because my life experiences are so different from most people. My answer must seem pretty lame. What was it like growing up in a large family? It was pretty normal actually. I can't remember needing anything. There was always someone to play basketball in the driveway with. There was always someone available to help me with my homework. There was always some to go to school with. To an outsider that could seem a bit overwhelming but to me it was normal. As I got older, I was forced to do some of the things I had always done with my brothers and sisters by myself. My next oldest brother (#7 Paul Jr.) was 2 years ahead of me. My next youngest brother (#9 Peter) was 4 years younger than me. Unlike my older brothers and sisters, there was a time when I was the only Ringwood at Blessed Trinity, playing Babe Ruth baseball, attending Auburn High School, or in college. There was also a time when I was the only married Ringwood without any children much to my mother's dismay! I must say that these periods were liberating. It is easy to lose your identity in a large family from a small-city. However, Regardless of where I was or what I was doing, I was regularly reminded that I was a part of something much bigger. " You must be Paul's little brother ." "Are you Joannie’s son?·' "What number are you?" (I used to tell people that I was the 8th oldest!) Sometimes this was frustrating because I wanted my own identity. Most of time when I was younger and all of the time now, I am proud to answer those type of question.

The downside to being one of the youngest members of a large family is that your older brothers and sisters are off to college or married before you really had an opportunity to get to know them. My oldest sister (#1 Nancy) was married when I was 10 years old. I knew who -she -was and I-knew- that I loved her·but -I really didn't know her. In 1972, all I knew is that I had to where a new blue suit purchased at Robert Hall on Grant Avenue to my sister' s wedding. I suspect it began to register with me when Nancy wasn't around anymore. I saw Mike leave for college, graduate and get married. Patty did the same. I hate to say it, but it really didn't matter all that much. I hadn't really connected with them the way they had connected with one another. Besides, they seemed happy going off to college, falling in love, and getting married. It was great when they came to visit. I guess you could say that their "new" lives were beginning at the same time that I was becoming who I·am.

The upside to being one of the youngest members of this large family is that we've all stayed pretty close physically and emotionally. My brothers and sisters were my first friends and remain my best friends. As you can imagine, I was able to establish bonds earlier with my brothers and sisters closer to me in age (#4 Tom - #10 Bob). What I am most grateful for is the fact that as I have gotten older, I have been able to connect with the siblings that were off living their lives when I was too young to appreciate them (#1 Nancy- #3 Patty). In spite of all this, each and every member of my family has had a lasting impact on my life. Regardless of chronological separation, I have precious memories of each one of my brothers and sisters. It's good to reflect and I'm fortunate to have so much to reflect upon.

MOM & DAD - Now that I'm a father, there isn' t a day that goes by when I don't wonder, how did they did it? Remember the television program from the 1970's Eight Is Enough? If someone were to make a television program about our family, the title probably would have been Ten Is Ridiculous. My parents, quite simply, did what needed to be done. I never saw them argue or disagree. They treated each other with respect and they loved one another unconditionally. They were always a team. If myself or one of my siblings did something wrong, we had to deal with both my mother and father. As children we knew that our parents loved us and would do anything for us. Can you imagine how many baseball games they attended or parent/teacher conferences? Can you imagine how many report cards they signed or science projects they helped to build? Just to put this in proper perspective, until my Dad died when I was 16 years old, his was the only income.

He was a salesman for a trucking company which required him to do a fair amount of traveling. It wasn't unusual for him to be away for weeks at a time. " OK honey, I'll see you on Friday. Take care of the kids!" I can't imagine saying that today. I guess they really did love each other.

I’m afraid that we live in an age where there is a tendency is to feel sorry for one's self. I didn't like the fact that my Dad was gone a lot . What I remember is how great is was when he got home. I remember the excitement of going to the airport to meet Dad' s plane (back then you could actually go to the gate!) and the look on Mom's face when she saw him. I remember driving home and listening to stories about Chicago or Baltimore or Philadelphia. We got to fill him in on our week and he really seemed interested. I know now that all he probably wanted to do was kick his shoes of and relax with Mom. He chose us instead. I hope he knew what that meant to us!

For years I’ve wondered, why did they wait until I arrived to use my Mom's maiden name for a middle name? The older I got, the more I'm convinced that things happen for a reason. I don't consider myself a "momma's boy" but I know I am my mother's son. For as long as I can remember, I've enjoyed talking to my mother. I've always enjoyed talking about books and politics with her. Maybe it's a Le Moyne thing. I don' t know nor do I care. I know she twisted everyone's arm about attending her alma mater. I was the only one to take that advice from her (my brothers and sisters probably think I'm an ass kisser!) and I'm very glad that I did. Even today, when I phone or visit (yes Mom, I know I don't visit enough!), we talk as much about the news or what we are reading as we do about her grandchildren. In her own quiet way, my mother has been the driving force in my life. From my Dad I learned about hard work, determination, and passion. From my Mom I learned that it was good to be informed and well read. She taught me that it was good to develop opinions and to defend them. Mom taught me that anything I did was worth doing to the best of my ability. Anything less was unacceptable.

What a team my Mom and Dad were. I don't know how they did it. I'm awfully glad they did. Tonight at mass I found myself thinking a lot about Mom and Dad. The theme of the homily was What Have You Done With Your Life? What Have You Done With The Opportunity God Has Given To You? I'm not quite sure how I would answer these questions as they pertain to my life. I do, however, know how to answer them as they pertain to the lives of my parents. The God I pray to is very pleased with my parents. My goal, as a parent, is to pass on the lessons to my children that I learned from Mom and Dad. I hope I measure up!

NANCY - Nancy is the "trailblazer" of our family in part because she is the oldest. Although I suspect that even if she were the youngest, she would still be the trailblazer. Nancy was nearly 10 years old when I was born and as I've already mentioned, she was nearly 20 when she was married. In other words, when she left, I was the same age as when we met. Does that make any sense? I don't Nancy as much as I like. However, when I do it seems as though we'd seen each other the day before. Nancy is honest and caring. She is determined yet soft. She is also chronologically misplaced. Nancy grew up in a much different world than the one that exists today. Were she a girl today, she would have opportunities that she really did not have when she was growing up. You remember those days...sports are for boys. I know that Nancy would be the best player on all of her teams were she in grade school today. I've always viewed Nancy as an adult. Ten years difference will do that! Nancy was my first swimming instructor (I think she failed me on my final test!). I remember babysitting for Nancy 's children and her telling me that it was OK if I wanted to invite anyone over. I learned a lot about my oldest sister on those evenings after Kelly and Patrick fell asleep. I remember looking through her photo albums and through her collection of albums (pre-CD days). I remember being pretty impressed that my oldest sister still had her Beatles' albums. One of my fondest memories involving Nancy was going to St. Francis College with Dad and Teresa to bring her home after her Freshman year (I think). I return to the notion of Nancy as "trailblazer". She was the first to go off to college...in Pennsylvania no less! That in and of itself was impressive to her younger siblings. As much as I liked being selected by Dad to go on the trip with him, the very notion that the trip had to be made was interesting. Nancy the "trailblazer". In a very real sense, Nancy showed all of how to do things because she did them first and well. As I've gotten older (and hopefully wiser), I come to realize that Nancy did more that teach me how to swim or provide me with spending money. She has taught me that you are never too you or too old to do the things you want to do. Not quite 20 years old may seem too young to get married. Nancy dispels that myth. 40 years old (I'm sorry Nancy if I have my dates wrong!) might seem too old to to get in to the Banking industry. Nancy dispels that myth also. I guess Nancy really was there when I was a kid. They say God works in mysterious ways. No mystery here...God knew what he was doing. Only Nancy could be the leader of this bunch.

MICHAEL - If Nancy is the "trailblazer", Mike is "Mr. Fix It" . "Hey Mike, I got a speeding ticket, can you fix it?" "Hey Mike, I can't seem to stop slicing my drives, can you fix it?" Since August, 1978 those of us in the lower third of the Ringwood family have viewed Mike as our "father". As I am learning, fathers fix things Mike was forced into that position twenty six years ago when Dad died and he has done it splendidly. I've gotten to know Mike pretty well over the past ten years or so. We play golf together. We watch football together. He'11 show up out of the blue to watch my boys play soccer or baseball or football. He's a legend in my house. My children love their Uncle Mike! Because I spend more time with Mike than I do my other older siblings, he is my link to the Ringwood past. He knows how good a golfer Dad was. He remembers Steel Street and the Y-Field and he loves to share those stories. He and Nancy welcomed all of the rest of us into the family and like Nancy taught us what to do and how to do it. Like Nancy, Mike was pretty much grown and gone before I became aware of his existence. I hate to keep repeating myself, but that is the way it goes in a family this size. You end up knowing some of your siblings better than others. As a result, Mike has always been an "adult" to me. It's amazing how much ''younger" Mike has gotten over the years (does that make sense?). Mike has always had a quiet confidence. He knew he was good. He let(s) his actions speak for themself. As I mentioned, for much of my life Mike was an "adult" and I remember thinking to myself when I was young, "I wonder if I'll be as cool as Mike?". It was the way he carried himself. It was the way he looked in his Babe Ruth baseball uniform (Go Byrnes' !). Tt was his mustache. It was his determination to become a lawyer. It was his m -6. As a growing boy, Mike was the perfect role model. I'll Never forget graduating from high school and receiving a letter from Mike. It was as though he'd read my mind. He congratulated me on making through high school and said that the college I'd selected was the perfect spot for me. It's one thing for an 18 year old to think he has made a wise decision. It is another thing entirely when your oldest brother confirms that decision. Mike has always been our "Mr.Fix It" I tore up my knee two week into by college career. When I woke from the surgery, the first face I saw was Mike's. After graduating from Le Moyne and failing to land my first teaching job, Mike invited me to a party at his house. It just so happened that another guest was his next door neighbor, the Superintendent of the Syracuse City School District. Mike made a point of introducing me to the Superintendent. I had an interview 2 days later and was hired the following week. Mr. Fix It!! I'm Sure that description does Mike justice because he has a knack for fixing things before they break. For the last ten years or so, I've grown very close to Mike. He's still my older brother but it seems as though I've caught up to him. I still think he's pretty cool he's still an excellent role model, but I feel as though we are friends now. Playing golf with him now, talking to him about The West Wing, watching football or the Masters with him now, give me a sense of what he was like when he was younger. I love to see him laugh, screw around, get competitive, swear (sorry Mom it's true!)...be young! I find myself, after spending time with Mike wondering what it would have been like to be closer to Mike in age. I'm sure it would have been neat to be his sidekick but I'm equally sure that I wouldn't have appreciated as much as I do now. This is going to sound very strange, but I'll say it anyhow. I has really been nice getting to know my brother Mike. He's been a great "father", "fixer", and friend.

PATTY - Every family, regardless of size, needs an artist. My sister Patty is the Ringwood Family Artist. In addition to being incredibly talented, Patty has a heart of gold and is filled with passion and energy. Patty, like Nancy and Michael before her. had exited my life before I had really gotten to know her. She graduated from college the same year that I finished middle school and she was married shortly thereafter. Patty and I had a little more contact when I was growing up than I did with Nancy or Michael. Patty, was one of my swim teachers like Nancy had been at Day Camp. I can remember Patty babysitting for Paul and I. That usually some extravaganza cooked up by her. I think there are still some pictures of Paul and I wearing too too's (sp). Patty concluded, first of all, that she needed 2 more sisters and secondly that her sisters needed to study ballet. That really sums up Patty. My first memories of Patty involve her knowing what she wanted and, usually, getting it. Patty wanted her long blonde hair to be straight so she got Tom to iron it (no joke!). Patty wanted her wedding dress to be a particular way so she made it (no joke!). Patty wanted 2 more younger sister to dress up like ballerinas so she got Paul and me (no joke!). Patty is an artist. Patty is determined and Patty gets things done. As I look back on my childhood I'm amazed how much my brothers and sisters have influenced me and how we all were influenced by my Mom & Dad. We learned from my parents that hard work was expected and that we should always appreciate what we have more than what we want to have. Being so much younger than my other brothers and sisters allowed me an opportunity to see my older siblings implement Mom and Dad's lessons. While Patty can be dramatic at times, I see some of myself in her. She and I are teachers. Patty, as you've probably guessed, teaches Art and I taught Social Studies. She showed me that being passionate about something CAN be passed on to students. Patty is attentive to detail. I can remember conversations with her where she told me that it was not unusual for her to be up until well after midnight planning lessons for elementary school children. At first I thought that was a little bit excessive until I realized that I did the same thing. My parents taught us that we should always be proud enough of our work to put our name on it. Patty, the artist, signs all of her work not only because that's what artists do but because it is her best effort and that's how our parents raised us. Like Nancy and Mike, I've enjoyed getting to know Patty as I've gotten older. We've grown closer, in part because we are teachers. We've also grown closer because now I understand Patty better and can, therefore , appreciate her more. Clearly Patty does not "tum it off ' when the school day ends. I've never observed her teach but I would bet my last dollar that when asked to describe their

Art teacher, Patty's students say that she loves what she does and she genuinely loves her students (or words to that effect). She is the same when we see each other at the holidays or at a family gathering or when I pick up the telephone to call her. Every conversation ends with "I love you David!" and I know she means it. She doesn't simply as how I am or how Mary and the kids are...she REALLY wants to know. If I ask her how her classes are, she uses words like "fantastic" or "incredibly talented" to describe them...and she REALLY means it! Without fail, Patty brings a smile to my face every time I see her or speak to her and that makes sense to me now as I think about it. Patty, the"Artist" approaches every person in her life be it professional or personal like a blank canvas. She "paints" smiles on our faces and adds "color" to our lives. She "sketches" drama and importance into our daily existence. What we may view as ordinary becomes extraordinary after Patty is finished with it. When she is finished, she shows us her work and it seems brighter, more cheerful, more important, glorious, and then she signs it because that is what artists do.

LET'S REVIEW:

Nancy = "Trailblazer"

Michael = ''Mr. Fix It"

Patty= "The Artist"

TOM- I know you seen it in movies or read it books. It has been portrayed in television programs a million times...the kid brother tagging along, following in the footsteps of the older brother. That was me with Tom. When I was growing up Tom was my idol. He still is. Sure, I hoped to one day become the next Bart Starr, Johnny Bench or Pete Maravich. That was pie in the sky. But Tom, on the other hand, he was real. I could become the next Tom. Tom's role in the family: "The Legend" . When I was young, Tom could do no wrong. Whatever he did, I wanted to do the same. If we were playing basketball in the driveway or baseball in the side yard, I wanted to be on Tom's team. "Tom do you need help delivering papers? I'll Go!" I suspect that if you studied the inner workings of a family this size, it would become clear that relationships like mine with Tom are inevitable. Even though Tom was significantly older than I am, he seemed to take me seriously. He never treated me like his younger brother. He treated me like his equal. T don't know if you've noticed, but I used the words "significantly older" to describe the age difference between Tom and me. That's because Tom never made me feel "younger". He involved me in his life. We shared a bedroom, he let me help deliver papers on Route 11.

He let me go to the playground to play basketball when he went. There was a time when I was a pretty good athlete. I credit Tom for that. He let me play and he never let me off easy. If we were on the same team, he expected me to pull my weight. If we were on opposite teams, he would kick my ass and tum it into a lesson. In many respects, Tom was my first "coach". I'm sure I didn't realize it at the time but he was teaching me things. After blocking a layup in the driveway I'd hear, "use your left hand and I won't be able to do that!" I think Tom enjoyed watching me play. I've always tried to play at full speed. Get on the floor for a loose ball. Dive to make the catch. That comes from Tom's encouragement. Younger brothers will do anything to make their older brothers notice them. I wanted Tom to notice me...and he did. I hope that Peter and Bobby (I'll get to them later!) feel as if I took notice of them. You might think that all Tom and I have shared over the years is sports. Not quite. Tom was instrumental in my education. He was kind enough to help me write a letter to Bart Starr after his last second touchdown in the Ice Bowl (the autographed picture I received in the mail hangs proudly in my office!). Tom taught me about loyalty and he used sports to make his point. He lived and died with the Milwaukee Bucks and the Los Angeles Lakers so I did (and still do) as well. Tom embodied the work ethic instilled in all of us by our parents. I noticed that Tom always had more than one summer job.

When I was old enough, I did the same. After all, if Tom did it, it must be the right thing to do. Tom is a salesman and from what I can tell, he's an awfully good one. I've learned from experience that to be an effective educator, you have to earn your student's trust. In addition, students want teachers to be kind and fair. I love all of my brothers and sisters. Some T know better than others. Some T am just getting to know. I don't know everything about Tom's life but I do know that he is kind and fair and I trust him completely. I suppose that is what makes Tom a good salesman. His clients trust him to be fair. However, you have to get in the door first don't you? I know what get's Tom in the door. When Tom speaks to you it's as if you are the only person on earth. I've experienced that for years. Call it charm, moxy (Dad reference), or a winning personality. Tom was born with it. He uses it in all aspects of his life and it is what makes him special.

I've tried to include special experiences in these recollections. I shared lots of "moments" with Tom but there are two that I hold particularly dear. The first involves that saddest moment of my life. In the middle of the night on August 13, 1978 our father died at the house on Owasco Street. I had just turned 16 and had spent the day working and playing golf at Auburn Country Club. I saw my Dad in the morning. He was playing golf and then going to dinner with my Mom and some of their friends. As it turned out, that was the last time T spoke to him. Tt was a perfectly ordinary conversation that 16 year old boys have with their fathers all the time. If only I had known. Twenty-six years later I still can't believe I slept through it all. Maybe God was protecting me. 16 year old boys should never see their fathers die. I slept through all of the commotion, the ambulance coming to the house and taking my father away. As I write this I'm still amazed and angry that I didn't wake up. I could have said "I love you Dad" one last time because I'm pretty certain that I didn't think to say that the previous morning. When I did wake up, it was all over. The only light in my room was the light from the hallway and there was Tom and the foot of my bed in the room that had been ours years before. Tom wanted to be the one to tel1 me that Dad had died. Tom wanted to hug me and let me know that we were going to be OK. At that moment, as he had been so many times before, Tom was there to help me and be my big brother. As I think about it now, that was, for me, Tom's greatest moment. He helped me out of bed and walked downstairs with me and told me to be strong for Mom. One more lesson.

About ten years later, Johnny Bench was enshrined in the Baseball Hall of Fame. By then T had graduated from college and was working at Camillus Country Club during the summer. Out of the blue, there's Tom. He'd come to take me to Cooperstown. I had no intention of going but Tom decided that I needed to be there on that day. Johnny Bench had been (and still is) my favorite baseball player. We did not get to hear the speeches or witness the ceremony. That was fine. I felt a connection to my childhood that afternoon. I felt not only a connection to my childhood because of Johnny Bench but also because I was once more included in something with Tom. That day it was about loyalty and loyalty is something that Tom has been teaching me for as long as I can remember. Loyalty dictates that you go to Cooperstown when you favorite player receives the ultimate reward. I hope Tom knows that on that day, Johnny Bench took a back seat to him. Be loyal to your idols, thanks for teaching me that one Tom!

JACK - I can imagine that it was pretty difficult being Tom's next youngest brother. Jack and Tom are VERY different. Tom played basketball, Jack was on the swim team. Jack made the Honor Roll, Tom was glad not to have to go to Summer School. Tom got yelled at by my parents, Jack (as far as I could tell) never did anything wrong (aside from the unfortunate Hippity Hop incident in the side yard). What I learned from Jack growing up was that it was OK to do things your own way. The more I write the more I realize how lucky I was to have so many role models. Jack occupies the middle of the family. He is #5. I occurs to me that the "First 4" were very similar to one another. I remember, as a child, thinking that Jack was different. Don't get me wrong. I didn't think that Jack was odd. I thought that he was unique...and he is. While I was in awe of Tom, I was intimidated by Jack. Jack always seemed older to me.

Because Jack and Tom were closer in age to me than Mike, I got to know and interact with them more. I've already mentioned that I trusted Tom completely. I trusted Jack completely as well but for a different reason. My trust for Tom was emotional. I trusted Jack with my head. Jack seemed to have a knack for making the hard things (academics) look easy and the easy things (athletic) look hard - with the exception of the "one hand underarm bowling shot" from games of PIG in the driveway. Jack had a way of doing certain things better than everyone else and they always seemed to be the things that my parents appreciated the most. While the rest of us mowed the grass (except Teresa...clip your toenails with the lawn mower lately?) Jack manicured the grass and trimmed around the bushes by hand. After dinner during the school year the rule was that we all had to spend at least an hour in our rooms THEORETICALLY doing our homework (as a parent I know what that was REALLY about Mom and Dad!). Most of us complained our way up the stairs. As far as I can remember Jack never did. It was years later that I learned that Jack really wasn't studying. It probably took him all of 15 minutes to complete his homework. The rest of the time he spend amusing himself. While I never witnessed it, I've heard that Jack could fly a paper airplane from his bedroom to the sidewalk in front of our house. Time well spent. Jack was an excellent student. He may not have noticed me noticing but I did. I never was able to unlock that mystery but I know now why he excelled in the classroom. He approached his studies like he did mowing the side yard. Don't complain. Don't complete a task just to complete it. Whatever you do, do it well and be proud of it. That's what I mean when I say that I trusted Jack with my head. Be proud of your efforts. I believe that Jack possesses all of the qualities of a natural leader. He is careful, organized and determined. I learned this very early because Jack was my first employer. Paul and I both helped Jack deliver newspapers. Jack handed Paul and I the papers and we ran them to the houses and put in the mailboxes (by the way, do paperboys even exist any longer?). In other words, Paul and I did the work...Jack was our "boss". He paid us at the end of each week (slave wages by today's standards) and we were happy. Paul tried to get me to go on strike one time to protest low wages and unfair labor practices. Believe it or not, Paul actually walked. Tom hired him for his route. Paul came back a few days later with his tail between his legs after working Wegman Street (the street that never ends). I think that Jack gave us a raise. I don't think we tried that again. Working that paper route with Jack were some of the greatest afternoons of my life. Jack liked to time us to see if we could get the papers delivered faster than the previous day. He was quick to buy us a soda on hot days and he always let us take a break to throw rocks into the outlet. What was Paul thinking? Jack was a great boss. As we grew older I had other opportunities to see Jack in action. The lesson, however, remained the same. If you've got something to do, do it well.

Jack and I worked in the kitchen Auburn Country Club and everyone thought that Jack was a god. Jack made people notice the little things. "It just smells better in this kitchen, Jack must be back." Jack made me WANT to work harder and I learned to enjoy it. I have to mention, at this point, that Jack was only only about hard work the evening we worked together. Jack let me sneak a beer from behind the bar every once and awhile. On more that one occasion we even enjoyed a cigar together. Cool stuff for a 16 year o1d. r don't really know (because I've never asked) if Jack was trying to " teach " me but I sure did learn an awful lot from him. Jack encouraged me to travel overseas as he had. Jack even went out of his way to pick me up in New York City after returning from Ireland. Jack wanted to hear all about my

trip...imagine that! Jack invited me to live with him in Washington DC after I graduated from Le Moyne because I hadn't had any luck finding a teaching position in New York. One time I told Jack that I didn't think that I would measure up in Washington because T "only" had a degree from Le Moyne. I'll never forget Jack stopping, looking me straight in the eye and telling me never to think that way and that my degree was every bit as good as a degree from Georgetown, Harvard or Yale. Those words made me feel so good I felt like delivering papers for him again! When I was a teacher, my students were fascinated to learn that I came from such a large family. From time to time my students would complain that I worked them too hard and that I was overly demanding. My response was always the same. Anything worth doing is worth doing when I would tell them. Don't just complete your work, be proud to put your name on it and turn it in! I suspect a few of them will utter similar phrases and when they do, they will have Jack to thank.

TIME TO REVIEW...AGAIN

Nancy = "Trailblazer"

Mike = "Mr . Fix It''

Patty = "The Artist"

Tom= "The Legend"

Jack= "Inspiration"

TERESA- My sister Teresa is the oldest of the "2nd Half '. She amazes me for many reasons. While I have 3 sister.s, Teresa is the one I seemed to have connected with the earliest. That is probably but not exclusively a result of chronology. Teresa is like all of my brothers and sisters. She is kind and loving. She is hardworking and passionate about her work and her family. Teresa is like a force of nature. She doesn't just have fun, she has FUN. She doesn't simply have and idea, she had an IDEA and a PLAN. For as long as I can remember, Teresa has been a builder and an organizer. She didn't think it was enough to have a carnival for Muscular Dystrophy, she organized every aspect of it and involved all our friends in one way or another. I've always found Teresa fascinating and she always seemed to enjoy hanging out with me. It probably didn't seem like much to her, when she was a teenager and I was old enough, she let me stay up after my parents had gone to sleep to watch TV with her. We talked a lot, watch Saturday Night Live (when it was worth watching), and seemed to enjoy one another's company. I thought it was great to be up after 11:00 pm! Teresa and I seemed to hit it off at a time in my life (every young boy's life) when I was trying to figure out who I was. Teresa never treated me like her younger brother. I was able to make her laugh and I enjoyed being able to do that. Teresa's laugh was like a narcotic...T couldn't get enough.

Teresa seemed to always be dragging me one place or another (shopping, errands, etc.). I guess she must have enjoyed my company as much as I enjoyed hers.These excursions always turned into madcapper adventures. I was completely at ease in Teresa's company. I could screw around and generally make a fool of myself but it was OK because it always seemed to make Teresa laugh. At a time when most boys close up, Teresa made me feel comfortable enough to open up even if it meant acting like an idiot. Teresa shared a bedroom with Patty and I think that encouraged her to find her own way. Of all my brothers and sisters, I think Teresa has the most interesting list of preprofessional jobs. She dabbled in retail, was and Ice Skating director at Hoopes Park, the scorekeeper for the Men's basketball team at Cayuga Community College, did secretarial work at Red Star, and (I think) was a playground director. I'm sure I've missed some things but that is a pretty neat list.

I was impressed at Teresa's determination to do things her way. Sharing a bedroom with Patty was bound to result in that. Teresa continues to be an independent spirit with organizational skills and an active imagination. After graduating from Nazareth and earning a Master's degree in Library Science, she wasn't content to simply work in a Library. Instead, she created her own Toy Library. When she returned to Auburn and started working at Cayuga Community College, she made the Study Skills Center a vital part of the community and a valuable resource for her students. In fact she and I have had some students in common and she never once hesitated to call me to ask me about them so that she would be better able to serve them. I think maybe a little bit of Jack rubbed off on Teresa. She is not content to simply do something. She does things to the best of her ability so that they make a difference in people's lives. One of my most cherished possessions is my first teaching resource. It is world timeline filled with facts and dates...all the things that Social Studies teachers love (and their students hate). Teresa gave it to me when I graduated. When she gave it to me she told me things that she had learned about me over the years. She told me that she was proud of me and that it was important to helps others. She told me that she KNEW that I was going to be a teacher long before I did. I don't know what was better, her being proud of me or the fact that she had recognized things in me before I had. I thought she had just found me amusing. That day she made me feel as though I could conquer the world one student at a time.

Teresa, as I've mentioned, is never content to have an idea. She has the idea, a plan for turning the idea into reality, and roles for everyone to play. An example is this book. This is at least the second time it has been started. Mike passed on leadership of the project to Teresa and before I knew it, I had a timeline. This project embodies all of the things that I associate with Teresa. It revolves around family, everyone has roles to play, and Teresa is the conductor. As far as I can tell she has thought of everything (illustration, editing, etc.). Teresa is not a stem taskmaster. I have to meet the deadline not because I am afraid of what she will do to me if I don' t but rather because I don't want to disappoint her. Mike suggested that someone with a happier disposition than his be in charge of the project. Teresa is the perfect choice.

PAUL- My relationships with my other brothers and sisters included a fair amount of distance. That is not the case with Paul. He immediately precedes me in the family order. He is a year and a half older. Two school grades separate us. We essentially grew up together. We played Pony League and Little League baseball together. We fought. We went to school together and delivered newspapers together. We fought. We shared a bedroom. We competed with one another. We fought. Have I mentioned that we fought? I may be wrong but I'll bet that is perfectly normal. In fact, I learned an awful lot about Paul as a result of our fight. One time we were shoveling the entrance to the driveway. I kid you not, there must have been 3 feet of snow. The city plow had just gone by and extended our task. Neither one of us wanted to be where we were at that particular moment. Before long we were beating the crap out of one another. I must have been getting the worst of it because a woman slowed her car, rolled down her window and told Paul to knock it off. IMMEDIATELY we were allies and we told her, in not uncertain terms, to mind her own business. What did I learn about Paul? No one messes with the family. Another time Paul and I got into it and he sliced my chin open with his watch band. When Mom asked what had happened to my chin I told her I got hit with a hockey stick in gym class. I'm sure she didn't believe me but she let it go. I think Paul thanked me after dinner. What did I learn about Paul that evening? I learned that I wasn't so much his "little brother,, any more and that he respected and appreciated my decision not to involve Mom. Ifl had witnessed Tom and Jack as growing boys, I'll bet I would have witnessed my share of fisticuffs. Of all my brothers and sisters, T think that Paul is the most unique. He is the most emotional man I know. Sometimes he explodes like a volcano and other times he cries like a baby. Paul is something special. You always know EXACTLY where you stand with him. Paul holds nothing back. One minute he might be calling you a "big jerk" and the next minute he might have his arms wrapped around you telling you how much he loves you.

When Paul and I were younger, Paul made it perfectly clear that I was the younger brother and deserved the abuse that older brother occasionally heap on their younger siblings. That, however did not keep me away. Our location in the family made our spending time with one another inevitable. As I look back on it now , T remember the fun we had together and I smile at how much of a "team" we were. Paul was the pitcher and I was the catcher...literally and figuratively. There may have been times when he wished I wasn' t tagging along. He probably told me to scram and if I started to leave, he'd tell me that he was only kidding. The secret to Paul is not to be overwhelmed by him. If he starts to go off on one of his rants all you have to do is tell him to turned down the volume and that he is (most likely) full of crap. If Paul were a cartoon superhero, he would be Action Man. I think he was born with ants in his pants. Paul gets frustrated (watch out I think his head is going to explode!) when things don't get done as quickly as he would like and when they are not done to his liking. About IO years ago Paul invited me to be his partner in the Member-Guest Tournament at his country club. After the first night of play there was a calcutta where teams are raffled off to the highest bidder. If a team that you purchase wins the tournament, you collect half of all the money bet. The calcutta was not being run to Paul's standards so he did what only he could do. He took over...Action Man to the rescue. By all accounts it was the best calcutta at Owasco Country Club in years. AU he needed was a cape and theme music. That pretty much sums of Paul. If you don't like the way something is being done, do it your way. I'll tell you what, that philosophy has worked pretty well for Paul.

Paul, as I've mentioned, wears his heart on his sleeve. He live every day as though it is his last. I think that I have witnessed about as much of this as any member of our family. He used to be just heartsick whenever our Dad left for a business trip. His sadness was quickly forgotten when Dad returned home. I'11 never forget, for as long as I live, the look on Paul's face when took his fateful trip to Baltimore in 1972 (I may have the date wrong). He and I were getting ready to go to school when he left. Paul stared out the window as my Dad's car pulled away. When I asked him what was wrong all he could say was that he was sure that something bad was going to happen to Dad. Paul sensed what none of us could. Several days later we teamed that Dad was in the hospital because he had had a heart attack. Paul knew. That' s a memory I'll take to my grave. As I think about it now, it has an additional meaning to me. Paul is all about heart. Paul wears his heart on his sleeve. He loves his wife and children, brothers and sisters, parents, friends, and relatives unconditionally. There isn't anything he wouldn't do for the people he loves. I'll get into this more when I've finished my recollections but I've come to the conclusion that in our family, even though we are all very similar, some of us are more similar than others. I see Peter as the younger version of Michael and Jack. I see Bobby as the younger version of Tom. I see myself as a younger version of Nancy and Teresa as a younger version of Patty and Jack. What about Paul? I see Paul in all of us because he clearly is the heart of this family. isn't it strange that my parents waited until their 7th child and 4th boy to use my father's name? He has worn that name very well and I know that he is proud of it. I didn't get to know my Dad very well but I am confident that if he were alive today I would be amazed at how much his namesake and he were alike.

WE'VE REACHED AN IMPORTANT PART IN THE RECOLLECTION. WE OUGHT TO REVIEW:

Nancy = "Trailblazer"

Mike = "Mr . Fix It''

Patty = "The Artist"

Tom= "The Legend"

Jack= "Inspiration"

Teresa = “Creator”

Paul - “Out Heart”

PETER - Peter is four years younger than I am. That is the largest gap in our family from one child to the next. My parents lost a child in between he and I. I've always wished that Peter was a little older or that I was a little younger. The reason I've felt this way is because I wanted to have a relationship with Peter that was similar to the one Paul and I had. This is an important part of my recollection because now my perspective changes. It is time to speak from the perspective of older sibling. I remember to this day the day that Peter came home thus ending my 4 year stint as the "baby" of the family. Back in those days there actually was a waiting room in the Hospital. My Dad took me to get my Mom and my newest brother. I can remember being under impressed. That was the LAST time I was ever under impressed with Peter. I've always been amazed at how easily things came to Peter. I know that I never noticed the initial things (i.e walking, talking, reading, spelling) because I was too young. When Peter was old enough to join us for baseball in the side yard or basketball in the driveway, I noticed that he was a natural athlete. He always held his own in spite of being smaller. He was competitive from a very young age and very much a perfectionist. Regardless of what he was doing, he always seemed to do things effortlessly. He seemed to glide rather than run. He did very well in school but you never really noticed him "working" at it. What I noticed in Peter from a very young age is a trait that he still possesses. He's an exceptionally kind person. Bobby might be able to provide evidence to the contrary but Peter, as far as I've been able to see, is genuinely kind. As I mentioned at the beginning of this section, I would have liked it if Peter and I were a bit closer in age. He and I did lots of things together when we were growing up but it wasn't the same as it had been with Paul and me. It seemed as though whenever Peter was starting something I was finishing it. We delivered papers together on Route 11 but when I had reached the point where I was going to pass it on, Peter was too young to take over on his own. I graduated high school just as Peter was ready to begin (that's probably just as well...Peter probably would have made the Varsity Basketball team and I would have been cut!). I've always thought that it would have been a blast to have been on the same teams as Peter. I've always thought that it would have been interesting to be in the same school together. It would have been fun to serve Mass together, go to Day Camp together, play Monday golf together. In other words, it would have been great fun to Paul & Dave II. This time I would have been able to play Paul's role. In addition to his academic and athletic prowess, his kindness and competitiveness, Peter has always possessed an independent spirit. When it came to the professional teams that we rooted for, the New York teams (Yankees, Giants, Knicks) seemed to be the favorites of most of the members of my family as well as my Father. There were exceptions of course. Tom loved the Milwaukee Bucks and the Los Angeles Lakers (so did!...because Tom did of course!!). I guess it was because those were the games that were on TV. This was long before ESPN, the NFL Sunday Ticket, and other premium channels. Peter wanted to fit in and be "one of the guys" but he became a fan and remains a fan of the Pittsburgh Steelers. Where did that come from? How could that happen? Tom had brainwashed me into rooting for the Bucks and the Lakers why wasn't I able to brainwash Peter into becoming a fan of my beloved Green Bay Packers (when Peter was a boy there wasn't much to root for as far as the Packers were concerned!!)? When it was time for the previous 8 of us to select a college, we all selected Catholic Colleges:

Nancy - St. Francis College (PA)

Mike - Marquette University

Patty - Nazareth College

Tom - Canisius College

Jack - Georgetown University

Teresa - Nazareth College

Paul - St. Bonaventure University (BUCK FONA!! Right Tom?)

David - Le Moyne College

When it was Peter ' s turn he selected Clarkson University. How did that happen? Hey Mom, what's up with that? You see, Peter was NOT being defiant. In fact, he was a lot like Jack because I don't have many memories of him getting into trouble. He was a "good boy". Peter was NOT bucking the system. He was not setting a trend (although Bobby did go to S.U.N.Y. Albany...8 out of 10 is OK). Peter simply knew himself better than we thought he did and he was never afraid to do things his way. I really admire that! The most amazing thing about Peter is that he never changes. Yes, he is older. He's a father and an engineer and he probably doesn't "glide" like he once did. As far as the important things are concerned, he remains the same. He's as kind as he ever was. He's still pretty competitive and still has the delusion that the Steelers will return to glory. He still does things effortlessly, with style and grace. When asked about Peter, my response is always the same..."When I grow up I want to be just like Peter". All things considered, maybe it's just as well that he and I aren't closer in age. Peter turned out pretty well. I wouldn't change a thing (except maybe that Steeler thing!).

BOBBY - Without thinking, I used the letters BOBBY to begin this final section. Bobby is a boys name. Our Bobby is 36 years old (I think.) He's married and about to become a father for the first time. For all I know his friends and colleagues call him BOB or ROBERT. He'll always be BOBBY to me. I have more memories of Bobby as a child that I do Peter. Two years can make a big difference. I remember his wild red hair. I remember his clubbed fit, his operation, and the brace that he wore. I remember waking up to find that Bobby had been up in the middle of the night wreaking havoc. I remember Bobby tied to the peach tree in the side yard because he had a tendency to disappear. I don't ever want to put words in my parents mouths but I'll Be there were times when they had wondered why they hadn't stopped at 9 children. I think it's safe to say that Bobby is the reason why my parent stopped at 10. They must have been exhausted!! As I think about it now, Bobby is the perfect way to end this family. He is the cherry on top! I can only imagine how difficult it must have been for Bobby to be the youngest of 10.

On the other hand, if he was paying attention, he had plenty of opportunities to what to do and not to do. Whether he liked it or not, he was always going to have 9 examples to follow, 9 sets of recommendations and advice, and 9 sets of shoes to fill. As a child, Bobby once stated that he was"lucky he made it" into the family. I'm glad he made it also. I'm equally glad that he got to be the youngest and not me! Peter and Bobby were, by chronology, placed in a similar situation as Paul and T had been. Peter is 2 years older than Bobby. Tn other words, Peter was old enough to be in charge (as Paul had been) but they were close enough in age to, essentially, grow up together. I hope that they had as much fun as I did playing baseball together, going to Day Camp together, delivering papers together, and things of that sort. Speaking of Day Camp, my job as counselor was probably the greatest summer job I ever had. Part of what made it great was having the opportunity to have Peter and Bobby in my group. Imagine that, play with your brothers all day AND get paid. I have vivid memories of Bobby as a child and most of them include, naturally, Peter . As I think back now , I'm amazed at how different my two younger brothers were. I've mentioned that things seemed to come very easily]y to Peter. It's not that Bobby struggled necessarily, it's just that he seemed to approach things more aggressively. Peter glided but Bobby galloped When Peter played he never seemed to sweat and never seemed to get dirty. Bobby played hard and you could tell just by looking at him. It seems to me that summarizes Bobby best...give it all you got! Perhaps he knew how lucky he was to run at all that he was intent on making the most of EVERY opportunity. I'm sure it was pretty difficult being Peter's younger brother but he seems to have found his way. Unlike anyone else in the family, Bobby ran Cross Country in high school. I've never quite been able to understand cross country and swimming as sports. Bobby excelled as an athlete through sheer determination. In that respect I'd like to think that he embodies the "Ringwood spirit" if such a thing exists. You'd be pretty determined too if you spent any time tied to a tree...for your own safety. As Bobby has grown I've seen him develop into a warm and loving person. He loves his family, his wife, his job, and the Green Bay Packers. I may have whiffed with Peter but Bobby got the message. Bobby will be a wonderful father and T am excited for him to have that opportunity. He lost his Dad when he was only IO years old. Peter was only 12! Of all the things that have made me sad in my life, that ranks near the top. I know I could never replace my Dad but I hope that Bobby (and Peter for that matter) I was able to fill that void...even a little bit.

My youngest brother will always be BOBBY to me. He will always be young. He will always be enjoying life to the maximum. He will always be the one to actually say that he was "glad he made it" into the family. He will always be, to me, the little boy swinging on the swing set near the sandbox in the side yard singing "Happy Heart" at the top of his lungs. He'll never be ROBERT. He' ll never be BOB. He'll only and forever be BOBBY

Have I mentioned how much I've enjoyed being a part of this family that now includes 28 grandchildren and 1 great grandchild? I've tried to describe the role that each of my brothers and sisters (as well as my parents) has played in my life as well as their role in the family. I've selected words that have, in my opinion, captured the essence of their role. I mentioned in an earlier section that I see many similarities between the first and second half of this family.In many respects, the Ringwood family constitutes 2 versions of one family (does that make any sense?). Peter resembles Mike and Jack. He possesses Mike's cool demeanor and Jack's intelligence. Teresa resembles Patty and Jack. She possesses Patty's creativity and Jack's leadership skills. Bobby resembles Tom. He possesses Tom 's passion for life and determined spirit. I hope that Nancy isn't disappointed but I see myself in her. I'm no "trailblazer" but I'd like to think that I have a balance of "strong" and "soft" just like she does. I haven't forgotten Paul. That would be impossible because he is the heart of this family. There is a little bit of Paul in all of us and a little bit of all of us in him.

I wouldn't change a minute of the life I've lead thus far. For better or worse, good days and bad days, happy moments and sad ones. I am a very lucky man. I hope my parents and my brothers and sisters have enjoyed me as much as I've enjoyed them. I'm not sure I tell them enough! I'm sure that I've forgotten some stories and I'm sure that I've got some of my facts wrong. One thing is certain, every member of my family has had a positive impact on my life. Every member of my family has helped to mold, sha pe, and guide me. Bobby was absolutely right, "I'm glad T made it" into this family too. Thanks everyone. I love you all.

FINAL REVIEW:

Nancy= Trailblazer

Mike= Mr. Fix It

Patty= The Artist

Tom= The Legend

Jack= Inspiration

Teresa= Creator

Paul = Our Heart

Peter= Silk

Bob= Unsinkable

* * *

David (2004)

REFLECTIONS FROM #8: DAVID

Want to stop a conversation dead in its tracks? Try telling someone that you have 9 brothers and sisters. Tell them that all IO attended college, all 10 are married, and that the 10 have produced 28 grandchildren and 1 great grandchild. Tell them that all 10 lived in the same house with the same parents, a dog, and their grandmother. People on the receiving end of this tend to be astounded. Typically they have a "I can't begin to imagine that!" look on their face. I must admit, the only thing I enjoy more than my family is sharing my family with others. When people learn that I grew up in a large family they want to know what it was like. Believe it or not, that is a difficult question to answer because my life experiences are so different from most people. My answer must seem pretty lame. What was it like growing up in a large family? It was pretty normal actually. I can't remember needing anything. There was always someone to play basketball in the driveway with. There was always someone available to help me with my homework. There was always some to go to school with. To an outsider that could seem a bit overwhelming but to me it was normal. As I got older, I was forced to do some of the things I had always done with my brothers and sisters by myself. My next oldest brother (#7 Paul Jr.) was 2 years ahead of me. My next youngest brother (#9 Peter) was 4 years younger than me. Unlike my older brothers and sisters, there was a time when I was the only Ringwood at Blessed Trinity, playing Babe Ruth baseball, attending Auburn High School, or in college. There was also a time when I was the only married Ringwood without any children much to my mother's dismay! I must say that these periods were liberating. It is easy to lose your identity in a large family from a small-city. However, Regardless of where I was or what I was doing, I was regularly reminded that I was a part of something much bigger. " You must be Paul's little brother ." "Are you Joannie’s son?·' "What number are you?" (I used to tell people that I was the 8th oldest!) Sometimes this was frustrating because I wanted my own identity. Most of time when I was younger and all of the time now, I am proud to answer those type of question.

MOM & DAD - Now that I'm a father, there isn' t a day that goes by when I don't wonder, how did they did it? Remember the television program from the 1970's Eight Is Enough? If someone were to make a television program about our family, the title probably would have been Ten Is Ridiculous. My parents, quite simply, did what needed to be done. I never saw them argue or disagree. They treated each other with respect and they loved one another unconditionally. They were always a team. If myself or one of my siblings did something wrong, we had to deal with both my mother and father. As children we knew that our parents loved us and would do anything for us. Can you imagine how many baseball games they attended or parent/teacher conferences? Can you imagine how many report cards they signed or science projects they helped to build? Just to put this in proper perspective, until my Dad died when I was 16 years old, his was the only income.

What a team my Mom and Dad were. I don't know how they did it. I'm awfully glad they did. Tonight at mass I found myself thinking a lot about Mom and Dad. The theme of the homily was What Have You Done With Your Life? What Have You Done With The Opportunity God Has Given To You? I'm not quite sure how I would answer these questions as they pertain to my life. I do, however, know how to answer them as they pertain to the lives of my parents. The God I pray to is very pleased with my parents. My goal, as a parent, is to pass on the lessons to my children that I learned from Mom and Dad. I hope I measure up!

left, I was the same age as when we met. Does that make any sense? I don't Nancy as much as I like. However, when I do it seems as though we'd seen each other the day before. Nancy is honest and caring. She is determined yet soft. She is also chronologically misplaced. Nancy grew up in a much different world than the one that exists today. Were she a girl today, she would have opportunities that she really did not have when she was growing up. You remember those days...sports are for boys. I know that Nancy would be the best player on all of her teams were she in grade school today. I've always viewed Nancy as an adult. Ten years difference will do that! Nancy was my first swimming instructor (I think she failed me on my final test!). I remember babysitting for Nancy 's children and her telling me that it was OK if I wanted to invite anyone over. I learned a lot about my oldest sister on those evenings after Kelly and Patrick fell asleep. I remember looking through her photo albums and through her collection of albums (pre-CD days). I remember being pretty impressed that my oldest sister still had her Beatles' albums. One of my fondest memories involving Nancy was going to St. Francis College with Dad and Teresa to bring her home after her Freshman year (I think). I return to the notion of Nancy as "trailblazer". She was the first to go off to college...in Pennsylvania no less! That in and of itself was impressive to her younger siblings. As much as I liked being selected by Dad to go on the trip with him, the very notion that the trip had to be made was interesting. Nancy the "trailblazer". In a very real sense, Nancy showed all of how to do things because she did them first and we11. As I've gotten older (and hopefully wiser), I come to realize that Nancy did more that teach me how to swim or provide me with spending money. She has taught me that you are never too you or too old to do the things you want to do. Not quite 20 years old may seem too young to get married. Nancy dispels that myth. 40 years old (I'm sorry Nancy if I have my dates wrong!) might seem too old to to get in to the Banking industry. Nancy dispels that myth also. I guess Nancy really was there when I was a kid. They say God works in mysterious ways. No mystery here...God knew what he was doing. Only Nancy could be the leader of this bunch.

MICHAEL - If Nancy is the "trailblazer", Mike is "Mr. Fix It" . "Hey Mike, I got a speeding ticket, can you fix it?" "Hey Mike, I can't seem to stop slicing my drives, can you fix it?" Since August, 1978 those of us in the lower third of the Ringwood family have viewed Mike as our "father". As I am learning, fathers fix things Mike was forced into that position twenty six years ago when Dad died and he has done it splendidly. I've gotten to know Mike pretty well over the past ten years or so. We play golf together. We watch football together. He'11 show up out of the blue to watch my boys play soccer or baseball or football. He's a legend in my house. My children love their Uncle Mike! Because I spend more time with Mike than I do my other older siblings, he is my link to the Ringwood past. He knows how good a golfer Dad was. He remembers Steel Street and the Y-Field and he loves to share those stories. He and Nancy welcomed all of the rest of us into the family and like Nancy taught us what to do and how to do it. Like Nancy, Mike was pretty much grown and gone before I became aware of his existence. I hate to keep repeating myself, but that is the way it goes in a family this size. You end up knowing some of your siblings better than others. As a result, Mike has always been an "adult" to me. It's amazing how much ''younger" Mike has gotten over the years (does that make sense?). Mike has always had a quiet confidence. He knew he was good. He let(s) his actions speak for themself. As I mentioned, for much of my life Mike was an "adult" and I remember thinking to myself when I was young, "I wonder if I'll be as cool as Mike?". It was the way he carried himself. It was the way he looked in his Babe Ruth baseball uniform (Go Byrnes' !). Tt was his mustache. It was his determination to become a lawyer. It was his m -6. As a growing boy, Mike was the perfect role model. I'll Never forget graduating from high school and receiving a letter from Mike. It was as though he'd read my mind. He congratulated me on making through high school and said that the college I'd selected was the perfect spot for me. It's one thing for an 18 year old to think he has made a wise decision. It is another thing entirely when your oldest brother confirms that decision. Mike has always been our "Mr.Fix It" I tore up my knee two week into by college career. When I woke from the surgery, the first face I saw was Mike's. After graduating from Le Moyne and failing to land my first teaching job, Mike invited me to a party at his house. It just so happened that another guest was his next door neighbor, the Superintendent of the Syracuse City School District. Mike made a point of introducing me to the Superintendent. I had an interview 2 days later and was hired the following week. Mr. Fix It!! I'm Sure that description does Mike justice because he has a knack for fixing things before they break. For the last ten years or so, I've grown very close to Mike. He's still my older brother but it seems as though I've caught up to him. I still think he's pretty cooL he's still an excellent role model, but I feel as though we are friends now. Playing golf with him now, talking to him about The West Wing, watching football or the Masters with him now, give me a sense of what he was like when he was younger. I love to see him laugh, screw around, get competitive, swear (sorry Mom it's true!)...be young! I find myself, after spending time with Mike wondering what it would have been like to be closer to Mike in age. I'm sure it would have been neat to be his sidekick but I'm equally sure that I wouldn't have appreciated as much as I do now. This is going to sound very strange, but I'll say it anyhow. I has really been nice getting to know my brother Mike. He's been a great "father", "fixer", and friend.

it. Patty wanted her long blonde hair to be straight so she got Tom to iron it (no joke!). Patty wanted her wedding dress to be a particular way so she made it (no joke!). Patty wanted 2 more younger sister to dress up like ballerinas so she got Paul and me (no joke!). Patty is an artist. Patty is determined and Patty gets things done. As I look back on my childhood I'm amazed how much my brothers and sisters have influenced me and how we all were influenced by my Mom & Dad. We learned from my parents that hard work was expected and that we should always appreciate what we have more than what we want to have. Being so much younger than my other brothers and sisters allowed me an opportunity to see my older siblings implement Mom and Dad's lessons. While Patty can be dramatic at times, I see some of myself in her. She and I are teachers. Patty, as you've probably guessed, teaches Art and I taught Social Studies. She showed me that being passionate about something CAN be passed on to students. Patty is attentive to detail. I can remember conversations with her where she told me that it was not unusual for her to be up until well after midnight planning lessons for elementary school children. At first I thought that was a little bit excessive until I realized that I did the same thing. My parents taught us that we should always be proud enough of our work to put our name on it. Patty, the artist, signs all of her work not only because that's what artists do but because it is her best effort and that's how our parents raised us. Like Nancy and Mike, I've enjoyed getting to know Patty as I've gotten older. We've grown closer, in part because we are teachers. We've also grown closer because now I understand Patty better and can, therefore , appreciate her more. Clearly Patty does not "tum it off ' when the school day ends. I've never observed her teach but I would bet my last dollar that when asked to describe their

brighter, more cheerful, more important, glorious, and then she signs it because that is what artists do.

LET'S REVIEW:

Nancy = "Trailblazer"

Michael = ''Mr. Fix It"

Patty= "The Artist"

When I was old enough, I did the same. Afterall, if Tom did it, it must be the right thing to do. Tom is a salesman and from what I can tell, he's an awfully good one. I've learned from experience that to be an effective educator, you have to earn your student's trust. In addition, students want teachers to be kind and fair. I love all of my brothers and sisters. Some T know better than others. Some T am just getting to know. I don't know everything about Tom's life but I do know that he is kind and fair and I trust him completely. I suppose that is what makes Tom a good salesman. His clients trust him to be fair. However, you have to get in the door first don't you? I know what get's Tom in the door. When Tom speaks to you it's as if you are the only person on earth. I've experienced that for years. Call it charm, moxy (Dad reference), or a winning personality. Tom was born with it. He uses it in all aspects of his life and it is what makes him special.

house and taking my father away. As I write this I'm still amazed and angry that I didn't wake up. I could have said "I love you Dad" one last time because I'm pretty certain that I didn't think to say that the previous morning. When I did wake up, it was all over. The only light in my room was the light from the hallway and there was Tom and the foot of my bed in the room that had been ours years before. Tom wanted to be the one to tel1 me that Dad had died. Tom wanted to hug me and let me know that we were going to be OK. At that moment, as he had been so many times before, Tom was there to help me and be my big brother. As I think about it now, that was, for me, Tom's greatest moment. He helped me out of bed and walked downstairs with me and told me to be strong for Mom. One more lesson.

About ten years later, Johnny Bench was enshrined in the Baseball Hall of Fame. By then T had graduated from co11ege and was working at Camillus Country Club during the summer. Out of the blue, there's Tom. He'd come to take me to Cooperstown. I had no intention of going but Tom decided that I needed to be there on that day. Johnny Bench had been (and still is) my favorite baseball player. We did not get to hear the speeches or witness the ceremony. That was fine. I felt a connection to my childhood that afternoon. I felt not only a connection to my childhood because of Johnny Bench but also because I was once more included in something with Tom. That day it was about loyalty and loyalty is something that Tom has been teaching me for as long as I can remember. Loyalty dictates that you go to Cooperstown when you favorite player receives the ultimate reward. I hope Tom knows that on that day, Johnny Bench took a back seat to him. Be loyal to your idols, thanks for teaching me that one Tom!

underarm bowling shot" from games of PIG in the driveway. Jack had a way of doing certain things better than everyone else and they always seemed to be the things that my parents appreciated the most. Whi]e the rest of us mowed the grass (except Teresa...clip your toenails with the lawn mower lately?) Jack manicured the grass and trimmed around the bushes by hand. After dinner during the school year the rule was that we all had to spend at least an hour in our rooms THEORETICALLY doing our homework (as a parent I know what that was

REALLY about Mom and Dad!). Most of us complained our way up the stairs. As far as I can remember Jack never did. It was years later that I learned that Jack rea11y wasn't studying. It probably took him a11 of 15 minutes to complete his homework. The rest of the time he spend amusing himself. While I never witnessed it, I've heard that Jack could fly a paper airplane from his bedroom to the sidewalk in front of our house. Time well spent. Jack was an excellent student. He may not have noticed me noticing but I did. I never was able to unlock that mystery but I know now why he excelled in the classroom. He approached his studies like he did mowing the side yard. Don't complain. Don't complete a task just to complete it. Whatever you do, do it well and be proud of it. That's what I mean when I say that I trusted Jack with my head. Be proud of your efforts. I believe that Jack possesses all of the qualities of a natural leader. He is careful, organized and determined. I learned this very early because Jack was my first employer. Paul and I both helped Jack deliver newspapers. Jack handed Paul and I the papers and we ran them to the houses and put in the mailboxes (by the way, do paperboys even exist any longer?). In other words, Paul and I did the work...Jack was our "boss". He paid us at the end of each week (s1ave wages by today's standards) and we were happy. Paul tried to get me to go on strike one time to protest low wages and unfair labor practices. Believe it or not, Paul actually walked. Tom hired him for his route. Paul came back a few days later with his tail between his legs after working Wegman Street (the street that never ends). I think that Jack gave us a raise. I don't think we tried that again. Working that paper route with Jack were some of the greatest afternoons of my life. Jack liked to time us to see if we could get the papers delivered faster than the previous day. He was quick to buy us a soda on hot days and he always let us take a break to throw rocks into the outlet. What was Paul thinking? Jack was a great boss. As we grew older I had other opportunities to see Jack in action. The lesson, however, remained the same. If you've got something to do, do it well.

ack and I worked in the kitcheat Auburn Country Club and everyone thought that Jack was a god. Jack made people notice the little things. "It just smells better in this kitchen, Jack must be back." Jack made me WANT to work harder and I crune to enjoy it. I have to mention, at this point, that Jack was only only about hard work the evening we worked together. Jack let me sneak a beer from behind the bar every once and awhile. On more that one occasion we even enjoyed a cigar together. Cool stuff for a 16 year o1d. r don't really know (because I've never asked) if Jack was trying to " teach " me but I sure did learn an awful lot from him. Jack encouraged me to travel overseas as he had. Jack even went out of his way to pick me up in New York City after returning from Ireland. Jack wanted to hear all about my

again! When I was a teacher, my students were fascinated to learn that I came from such a large family. From time to time my students would complain that I worked them too hard and that I was overly demanding. My response was always the same. Anything worth doing is worth doing when I would tel1 them. Don't just complete your work, be proud to put your name on it and turn it in! I suspect a few of them will utter similar phrases and when they do, they will have Jack to thank.

TIME TO REVIEW...AGAIN

Nancy = "Trailblazer"

Mike = "Mr . Fix It''

Patty = "The Artist"

Tom= "The Legend"

Jack= "Inspiration"

TERESA- My sister Teresa is the oldest of the "2nd Half '. She amazes me for many reasons. While I have 3 sister.s, Teresa is the one I seemed to have connected with the earliest. That is probably but not exclusively a result of chronology. Teresa is like all of my brothers and sisters. She is kind and loving. She is hardworking and passionate about her work and her family. Teresa is like a force of nature. She doesn't just have fun, she has FUN. She doesn't simply have and idea, she had an IDEA and a PLAN. For as long as I can remember, Teresa has been a builder and an organizer. She didn't think it was enough to have a carnival for Muscular Dystrophy, she organized every aspect of it and involved all our friends in one way or another. I've always foWld Teresa fascinating and she always seemed to enjoy hanging out with me. It probably didn't seem like much to her, when she was a teenager and I was old enough, she let me stay up after my parents had gone to sleep to watch TV with her. We talked a lot, watch Saturday Night Live (when it was worth watching), and seemed to enjoy one another's company. I thought it was great to be up after 11:00 pm! Teresa and I seemed to hit it off at a time in my life (every young boy's life) when I was trying to figure out who I was. Teresa never treated me like her younger brother. I was able to make her laugh and I enjoyed being able to do that. Teresa's laugh was like a narcotic...T couldn't get enough.

off. IMMEDIATELY we were allies and we told her, in not uncertain terms, to mind her own business. What did I learn about Paul? No one messes with the family. Another time Paul and I got into it and he sliced my chin open with his watch band. When Mom asked what had happened to my chin I told her I got hit with a hockey stick in gym class. I'm sure she didn't believe me but she let it go. I think Paul thanked me after dinner. What did I learn about Paul that evening? I learned that I wasn't so much his "little brother,, any more and that he respected and appreciated my decision not to involve Mom. Ifl had witnessed Tom and Jack as growing boys, I'll bet I would have witnessed my share of fisticuffs. Of all my brothers and sisters, T think that Paul is the most unique. He is the most emotional man I know. Sometimes he explodes like a volcano and other times he cries like a baby. Paul is something special. You always know EXACTLY where you stand with him. Paul holds nothing back. One minute he might be calling you a "big jerk" and the next minute he might have his arms wrapped around you teUing you how much he loves you.

Our location in the family made our spending time with one another inevitable. As I look back on it now , T remember the fun we had together and I smile at how much of a "team" we were. Paul was the pitcher and I was the catcher...literally and figuratively. There may have been times when he wished I wasn' t tagging along. He probably told me to scram and if I started to leave, he'd tell me that he was only kidding. The secret to Paul is not to be overwhelmed by him. If he starts to go off on one of his rants all you have to do is tell him to turned down the volume and that he is (most likely) full of crap. If Paul were a cartoon superhero, he would be Action Man. I think he was born with ants in his pants. Paul gets frustrated (watch out I think his head is going to explode!) when things don't get done as quickly as he would like and when they are not done to his liking. About IO years ago Paul invited me to be his partner in the Member-Guest Tournament at his country club.

After the first night of play there was a calcutta where teams are raffled off to the highest bidder. If a team that you purchase wins the tournament, you collect half of all the money bet. The calcutta was not being run to Paul's standards so he did what only he could do. He took over...Action Man to the rescue. By all accounts it was the best calcutta at Owasco Country Club in years. AU he needed was a cape and theme music. That pretty much sums of Paul. If you don't like the way something is being done, do it your way. I'll tell you what, that philosophy has worked pretty well for Paul.

WE'VE REACHED AN IMPORTANT PART IN THE RECOLLECTION. WE

OUGHT TO REVIEW:

Nancy = "Trailblazer"

Mike = "Mr . Fix It''

Patty = "The Artist"

Tom= "The Legend"

Jack= "Inspiration"

Teresa = “Creator”

Paul - “Out Heart”

mpressed with Peter. I've always been amazed at how easily things came to Peter. I know that I never noticed the initial things (i.e walking, talking, reading, spelling) because I was too young. When Peter was old enough to join us for baseball in the side yard or basketball in the driveway, I noticed that he was a natural athlete. He always held his own in spite of being smaller. He was competitive from a very young age and very much a perfectionist. Regardless of what he was doing, he always seemed to do things effortlessly. He seemed to glide rather than run. He did very well in school but you never really noticed him "working" at it. What I noticed in Peter from a very young age is a trait that he still possesses. He's an exceptionally kind person. Bobby might be able to provide evidence to the contrary but Peter, as far as I've been able to see, is genuinely kind. As I mentioned at the beginning of this section, I would have liked it if Peter and I were a bit closer in age. He and I did lots of things together when we were growing up but it wasn't the same as it had been with Paul and me. It seemed as though whenever Peter was starting something I was finishing it. We delivered papers together on Route 11 but when I had reached the point where I was going to pass it on, Peter was too young to take over on his own. I graduated high school just as Peter was ready to begin

(that's probably just as well...Peter probably would have made the Varsity Basketball team and I would have been cut!). I've always thought that it would have been a blast to have been on the same teams as Peter. I've always thought that it would have been interesting to be in the same school together. It would have been fun to serve Mass together, go to Day Camp together, play Monday golf together. In other words, it would have been great fun to Paul & Dave II. This time I would have been able to play Paul's role. In addition to his academic and athletic prowess, his kindness and competitiveness, Peter has always possessed an independent spirit. When it came to the professional teams that we rooted for, the New York teams (Yankees, Giants, Knicks) seemed to be the favorites of most of the members of my family as well as my Father. There were exceptions of course.

om loved the Milwaukee Bucks and the Los Angeles Lakers (so did!...because Tom did of course!!). I guess it was because those were the games that were on TV. This was long before ESPN, the NFL Sunday Ticket, and other premium channels. Peter wanted to fit in and be "one of the guys" but he became a fan and remains a fan of the Pittsburgh Steelers. Where did that come from? How could that happen? Tom had brainwashed me into rooting for the Bucks and the Lakers why wasn't I able to brainwash Peter into becoming a fan of my beloved Green Bay Packers (when Peter was a boy there wasn't much to root for as far as the Packers were concerned!!)? When it was time for the previous 8 of us to select a college, we a11 selected Catholic Col1ege s:

Nancy - St. Francis College (PA)

Mike - Marquette University

Patty - Nazareth College

Tom - Canisius College

Jack - Georgetown University

Teresa - Nazareth College

Paul - St. Bonaventure University (BUCK FONA!! Right Tom?)

David - Le Moyne College

When it was Peter ' s turn he selected Clarkson University. How did that happen? Hey Mom, what's up with that? You see, Peter was NOT being defiant. In fact, he was a lot like Jack because I don't have many memories of him getting into trouble. He was a "good boy". Peter was NOT bucking the system. He was not setting a trend (although Bobby did go to S.U.N.Y. Albany...8 out of 10 is OK). Peter simply knew himself better than we thought he did and he was never afraid to do things his way. I really admire that! The most amazing thing about Peter is that he never changes. Yes, he is older. He's a father and an engineer and he probably doesn't "glide" like he once did. As far as the important things are concerned, he remains the same. He's as kind as he ever was. He's still pretty competitive and still has the delusion that the Steelers will return to glory. He still does things effortlessly, with style and grace. When asked about Peter, my response is always the same..."When I grow up I want to be just like Peter". All things considered, maybe it's just as well that he and I aren't closer in age. Peter turned out pretty well. I wou]don't change a thing (except maybe that Steeler thing!).

my parents mouths but I'll Be there were times when they had wondered why they hadn't stopped at 9 children. I think it's safe to say that Bobby is the reason why my parent stopped at 10. They must have been exhausted!! As I think about it now, Bobby is the perfect way to end this family. He is the cherry on top! I can only imagine how difficult it must have been for Bobby to be the youngest of 10.

My youngest brother will always be BOBBY to me. He will always be young. He wi11 always be enjoying life to the maximum. He wi11 always be the one to actually say that he was "glad he made it" into the family. He will always be, to me, the little boy swinging on the swing set near the sandbox in the side yard singing "Happy Heart" at the top of his lungs. He'll never be ROBERT. He' ll never be BOB. He'll only and forever be BOBBY.

FINAL REVIEW:

Nancy= Trailblazer

Mike= Mr. Fix It

Patty= The Artist

Tom= The Legend

Jack= Inspiration

Teresa= Creator

Paul = Our Heart

Peter= Silk

Bob= Unsinkable

* * *

David (2004)

Teresa HoercherFebruary 21, 2019Comment