The Table: TOGETHER

One of the greatest things about being a Ringwood was gathering together for dinner...the smells, the prayers, the laughter and the simple joy of being together! It was my favorite time because after all that had separated us throughout the day, it was dinner time that wove us back together as family. And it certainly didn’t just “happen” each night…..it was an orchestra of events that, as I perceived, started right after lunch. How did Mom do this day after day after day?! HUGE pots of spaghetti (Mom called Ragu the “Irish spaghetti sauce”), massive Thanksgiving and Christmas turkeys, never enough mashed potatoes, milk, more milk and of course, spilled milk! We were HAPPY!

My earliest memories were on Steele St. I loved the “modern kitchen” and the way the table was situated in the corner with an L-shaped bench occupying two sides. We were packed in. I also loved the huge window, especially when it rained and it was lightning. But there was another impressive window that opened up to the back yard that I thought was the coolest thing on earth. It had a shelf on the outside and Mom and Dad would pass food through it for those summertime dinners at the picnic table. We thought that was the best! And who remembers Dad making mash in the meat grinder? It wasn’t that Dad did a lot of meal prep but as I recall, Mom was in the hospital. Another baby had arrived! (Another mouth to feed.) What became almost famous was the Ringwood dinner bell...that big ol’ school house bell that rang the announcement that the Ringwood kids needed to get home for dinner. Quick! The entire neighborhood knew that sound and helped scoot us off to 58! Teresa has that bell today.

For special occasions (and as the family grew) we ate in the DINING ROOM!. It was here that I learned how to “set” a table properly. Mom took pride in this. Smooth all the wrinkles out of the tablecloth, make sure it’s even on both sides, napkin on the left, water glass on the right and a centerpiece and candles to complete the look. Formal. And she never stopped loving setting the table. Even when it meant that she loaded things up in her walker on Mary St. to do so! But….who remembers when the chickens joined us from the basement and walked on TOP of that formal affair? Quite informal. One tradition of the Steele St. dining room was being the guest of honor for your birthday. You were allowed to select the menu and sit at the head of the table. One year as I was contemplating my dinner wishes Nancy leaned in and whispered “swiss steak!” I didn’t even know what it was but I loved and adored my big sister so much I ordered it without hesitation. YUK! But cake AND ice cream was always a given delight! Hence...Nancy quickly forgiven.

And then came 124 Owasco. Now THAT was a table! But I’ll start with the kitchen table. You know...the one uniquely made for the Ringwood clan from a barn door (I believe?) because that was the precursor to dinner. Oh that “door-table” holds great memories for me. I remember sitting there alone (How did THAT happen?) the morning of my wedding, daydreaming...anticipating and running MY thumbnail through the precious carving that Bernie made throughout the years. It was also the table you spontaneously gathered at when you came home from college, most often never leaving until the wee hours of the night. A gathering table. A table of love and family...a table of plenty. Paul treasures it today. At one point in time the decision was made to gather our food “smorgasbord style” to avoid waste. “If you take it you eat it!” Remember how funny our friends thought that was as we all lined up to grab our “grub”...or dirt and worms...or tuna noodle casserole? (I loved tuna noodle casserole NANCY!) And then we would carefully walk our plates to the big table where seats were assigned. As I recall, I always sat right next to Mom! Loved that! And Jack to my right...loved that too. His little arm always brushed up against mine and he was always warm. Nancy on Dad’s left, baby ALWAYS in the highchair on Mom’s left. Who else sat on the “other” side? David, Tom, Bernie, Mike. We had “sides” and they came into play when dessert was to be passed. Remember how Dad would have someone on each side pick a number to determine which route it would take? We were together. We had fun!

As mentioned earlier...dinner time was a major event. All of the “big kids” had jobs. Girls set the table and poured milk or water...eventually helped make a salad or peel potatoes. Boys gathered/returned chairs. You were cursed if you wound up in a kitchen chair because they were always on their “last legs!” How it came to be that I sat on a stool I do not know but I loved it...it was MY stool. And it was the very first thing I requested from Mom when 124 was being sold. I still have it and treasure it. For me, it holds the stories and the laughter of those glorious dinner hours. SO MANY MEMORIES: Mom running to the front hallway mirror when Dad pulled in the driveway to put on lipstick. Great love. Clean Plate Club (Thank you Aunt Marg and Uncle Ed) Bernie’s pies and eventually pudding (never instant) for dessert. Remember the “nothing cup”? Seems like Teresa always got it! Sliced ice cream (What?) “CANDLES are calming” (except when Leo taught us how to wet our finger and put it through the flame or put it OUT!) Chocolate milk for the holidays. “I’LL POUR!” Birthday “sponge” cakes with hidden quarter. We had fun!

BUT MY ALL TIME FAVORITE MEMORIES: Mom and Dad’s ‘dessert dances”. I think this is why I treasured sitting where I did at the table because I witnessed this time and again. Mom would head to the kitchen to gather dessert and Dad would often scoot in. Before you knew it they would be arm in arm...dancing...as if NOTHING else existed in the world! Love beyond measure. “Good dinner Joan!” Dinner was over when Dad leaned back in his chair and patted his belly. He never failed to acknowledge Mom’s miraculous feat yet again! Great love...example. David Sheridan’s first dinner with the Ringwoods. Aunt Marg and Uncle Ed were visiting and when he met them he “welcomed” them to the family! Really David? Also...his first Christmas with us. Gifts were exchanged at the dinner table after Christmas Eve Spaghetti dinner. David had something for EVERYONE. Each gift was wrapped in newspaper and black electrical tape and he presented each with a story…the next funnier than the last. Until...he realized he’d forgotten……….. BERNIE!!! Quick to the kitchen. He cut the Pepperidge Farm pepperoni he bought for Mom in two and re-wrapped! I thought I’d break a rib laughing. Once again. Laughter...together...at the dinner table. And I was falling in love.

The night superstitious Bernie called us from Swift St. to says she’d come to Florida with the family! We literally jumped out of our chairs and they fell to the floor...one after another. Her coming made us a family of 13! So proud of her...ALL happy! Tom and Marguerite’s engagement announcement. They walked into the dining room as we were eating and Tom said he was engaged. I said to who? (Sorry Mom. I should have said whom.) I had no idea at the time that Tom and Marguerite were more than colleagues at Red Star. What a celebration that announcement was. What a celebration that marriage continues to be! Pete and Bob’s first communion celebrations. They were at our private, intimate dining table...it became the table of the Lord. I was fascinated at being so close to Fr. Bellagadi and his regal garments. Remember, girls were not allowed to be altar servers at that time. The chalice...the sacrament...it was surreal. Bob’s big memory is that before the mass started Dad firmly instructed him NOT to look at Tom! You can fill in the blank here!

SHERIDAN MEMORIES: I learned from the best and from the start I wanted my dining room table to be the daily gathering place for family, stories, meals, friends and laughter. And it was! We grew together AS family at that beautiful table. The highchair was next to me of course and we had CANDLES! I remember a friend once saying that she loved driving by our house at dinner time seeing the candles lit. It’s a quiet table now most days but the MEMORIES are as clear and as loud and rambunctious and precious as they ever were. They keep me happy and grounded. NOTHING brings greater joy to my heart than my children (and theirs) returned to the table! In a recent conversation I had with Mike, we talked about change and how things like antiques and formal dining room furniture don’t seem to be the priority for the younger generation. And of course that’s fine. As Mom would say, “Tables and chairs are just things. It’s the people that matter.”

So my wish is that the tradition of gathering as we Ringwoods did...as the Sheridans did.. will always be valued in our growing families. Formal or informal should not steer the importance of gathering at the table but the commitment to it and the foresight to always save room for one more...or for those who have been away too long...must. TOGETHER.

Josh Garrels song: At the Table ”There will always be a place for you at my table...return to me” https://youtu.be/7L87sCyCjrE

-Patty Sheridan / Summer 2018

Teresa HoercherOctober 12, 20183 Comments